For a brief moment, life was back to normal and we all felt so free,
Then this year we were introduced to our new overlord: ChatGPT-3,
I figured if AI can do my job I’d take it in stride,
But it just couldn’t write this poem-trust me-I tried.
There are so many qualities of this class chatbots could never replace,
It could never run a committee room as perfectly as Grace,
Could you give it a basketball like Lonnie or Maddy H. and have it break traps?
Could it pass off history as current events like Hunter Heim, hmm, perhaps,
It can’t make espresso like Rosie M., no matter how much you beg,
And its silicon mind could never understand that Riley is simply The Gregg.
Could it play Russia like Sebastian did without losing his honor?
ChatGPT may be smart but it’ll never bring me daily snacks like Connor,
Could it console Taylor M.’s no-Taylor-Swift-tickets grief?
For sure it couldn’t come up with a nickname for Adeline as good as Sauce Thief,
It can’t match Devon’s wrestling domination,
It can’t rebuild engines like Jesse or Mason,
Beau and Trevor can lift more weight than any virtual brain with ease,
And it will never know to spell Elliott’s name with two Ls and two Ts!
Letting an AI pilot fly Eli’s drone might be a little too fraught,
Can it imagine vintage-airplane-scented candles like Lily M.? I think not.
There’s no virtual viola Magdaline can’t already outplay.
Can it get under Morgan’s skin as well as Kyle? No way.
Beyond new fangled technology this class really had skills,
Sam H.’s old-school Youtube channel will be paying the bills,
Natalie is already almost hospital administration,
Hunter James’s Zine will soon be spreading ‘cross the nation.
Roean’s becoming a dive instructor, I hope he’ll teach me for free,
Matia’s dancing is removed from Baryshnikov by a single degree,
Sophia H. will always get interesting roles with her theatre chops,
Taylor G. and Adelle will open their own cosmetology shops.
TJ’s becoming a lineman-he’ll soon earn more money than me,
(Shh… No one tell Joshua-teachers are grading papers for free.)
When it comes to Senior Projects this class’ were all great
Chloe B. learned to sew, Shannon helped get food on all plates,
Rhian worked on cars, Lilli S. got little kids cheering with flair,
Anna and Kerith both interned up at Jefferson Healthcare,
Halie & Leona got birds back to soaring,
Michael got multiple basketball courts new flooring,
Persephone helped the library’s board game club get in the flow,
Ashton may or may not already have business cards printed with his name as CEO,
Ted built a bench, Amelia K. made middle school girls strong,
Lucia tutored math until kids got no answers wrong.
These seniors have left their sports accomplishments memorialized on Port Townsend walls,
Toby’s intensely scrappy play was great (except at 6AM Morning Ball)
Emerson Q. can do any trick you can think of on his BMX,
Liz could deadlift three of me and that’s not even a flex.
In soccer Leah was always leading the way,
And her co-captain Izzy making tons of good plays.
Antonio was sailing anytime you heard the wind scream,
Trey was a founding father of our first boys volleyball team,
Camryn ran like lightning throughout the whole track season,
Juniper will destroy you in tennis-she doesn’t need a good reason.
Kaylen scores hat tricks like it’s no big thing,
Sophie won that State Championship Knowledge Bowl ring!
On the wrestling mat Ike would always put up a strong fight,
Heck, we could make a whole sport out of convincing Jackson to attend Grad Night!
Chatham was always excited to learn something new each day,
Agata didn’t really want to come to the US, but Port Townsend was… okay.
Walking five dogs will keep Manny fit,
For Gillian a single dog will do, and Basil is it,
Ella will be leading us all someday it’s clear,
If you need a huge project done, no worries Lorenzo is here.
Eunice can organize a big event all by herself,
Sophia L. is ready to add journalism awards to her shelf.
Lucia learned teaching can sometimes be thankless,
Sophia Frank is best at, well, frankness,
Rosy Crecca is happy to tell you how all the dental tools are used,
Justice is super smart, but somehow still often confused.
Down at OCEAN students can chart their own course,
Drew drives a unicycle, Adriana a horse,
Kai is the one always making the right choice,
Need some inspiration? It’s in Luna’s voice.
Maddy K.’s coffee drinks are always a treat,
Hoku has OCEAN kids dancing on beat,
Sage is so funny, Zoe and Opal’s creativity is off the charts,
Alan & Exael both welded all of their art,
Alex & Gabe’s hard work always had them doing their best,
Kyli created community down at the Nest.
This year, Ash was cheering for all of the sports teams,
Analiece worked on restoring the fieldhouse till it gleamed,
Emilia R. was on school board and picked up management knowledge,
Vicky took tons of classes out at the college.
Siaumau was always the one to ask lots of questions,
Lars could give OCEAN history lessons,
Clara always thinks deeper than others it seems,
Rylee F. is heading off to fulfill her firefighter dreams.
This class had special talents that went on without pause,
Samantha rallied the whole city to her skate-park lights cause.
Briar did a year of Zoom school while running two video game feeds,
Isaac has a unique talent at stopping all kinds of nosebleeds.
Addy was definitely in the grade skippers top ten,
Nix accomplished getting through the year without being injured again,
Derrick’s D&D wizardry needs no validation,
Maeve argumentation is so strong, she got me to wear sparkly pink polish to graduation,
Jared’s sound design skills always create killer hooks,
Chloe Lampert could write the “getting into your dream school” book,
Dynamic Duos? Ashlyn and Eva are always a winning pairing,
And Ivy managed to make it through her whole senior project without swearing!?!
No one can match Marcus at spotting the best Safeway lunch deals,
Ezra is so good at everything they need a full highlight reel,
Jay’s voice is so strong he never has to say anything twice,
When Austen “brings the Hammer down,” it just means be super nice.
Noah gets us all to think outside of the norm,
Stephanie got middle schoolers to have perfect weight lifting form.
Emme analyzes future trends, Sam S. knows all of the past,
Will has good Dow Reports, but don’t expect him to get to the point fast.
So there you have it a group of grads filled with mischief and sass,
Like Brandon randomly bringing pancakes to everyone in his class,
Would AI do that? I really don’t think so,
It’d just tell me how to make pancakes in a short film in the style of Quentin Tarantino,
When these grads tell their grandkids we used to learn from humans it’ll be funny,
That instead of AI advisors, Ms. Dow had to teach you all how to go make that money,
So here’s to your in-person graduation and may your future be among the stars,
Next year the class of 2024 will probably just send their virtual avatars.
By Benjamin Dow